The life and times of Solomon Grundy

Monday – Birth

Grundy was in the field when the news hit him like a stray bullet. He ran all the way home and into the room. He headed straight for the cradle and lying in it was little Grundy, asleep. Turning, he faced his wife Sarah, tears streaming down his cheeks and mumbled;

            ‘Finally, God has given us a child.’

Tuesday – Christening

The Grundys christened their son on a Tuesday, two weeks after his birth.

            ‘We want to make it the best ever,’ was the excuse.

They were true to their words; it was indeed the greatest ever. For never in the history of the kingdom had there been any event like that of the Grundy’s. Even the king could not help but marvel. A notable Knight was reported to have said;

‘It is a day of a thousand laughter…everyone got enough to eat and drink’

Everyone went home happy except for Greg, Grundy’s brother, who objected to the lavish spending. The child was nonetheless christened Solomon – Solomon Grundy.

 

Growing up, Solomon was denied nothing. His parents did all the thinking and left nothing beyond his reach. Solomon had no problem but for his Uncle Greg. Greg was the only opposition to the worship of Solomon. He was also a great preacher and would sit Solomon down for hours trying to force morals into him and slothfulness out. Solomon hated Greg but could do nothing about it.

Wednesday – Marriage

  Solomon became of age and was to take a bride. He grew up a handsome man with a terrible character. There was no stopping Solomon once he was set to go except for Julia. Julia the poor mild girl was the only antidote to his sickening character. She loved him so much and was determined to change him for good. Solomon equally loved her but still depended on his parent to make his decisions. So it wasn’t surprising when his parents announced he would be marrying the Princess even before telling him, and even  less surprising when they bent his will through the influence of his friends and the throne.

In the course of the preparations for Solomon’s wedding, Greg stormed in one day and challenged the Grundys.

            ‘You’ve lived his entire life and now you picked him a wife!’ Greg yelled.

            ‘Not your business.’ Solomon barked.

‘If you have ears and not flagella you would have known the sentence is a statement not a question, loose brat!’

And with those words still hanging in the air, Greg stormed out. Once again, the opposition lost. The wedding came to beat the long standing record of Solomon’s christening.

Thursday – ill

 Solomon’s breath taking wedding lasted just two weeks. They couldn’t just get along. Solomon was a drunk and also bad tempered. The princess was hyper-sensitive and as proud as a peacock. When she left, Solomon’s heart became more hardened to wine. One Thursday, Solomon collapsed outside a bar and was rushed home, all muddy. The doctor said he had liver cirrhosis and should stop drinking.

Friday – worsen

Solomon’s condition worsened and was bedridden. One day, he looked down the window and standing by a wagon was Julia and her kids. She looked up and waved him before entering the wagon. It was then reality dawned on him.

            ‘Greg was right’ he said to himself. ‘I have never done anything on my own.’

Saturday – Death

The next day, Solomon couldn’t bear it anymore. He scribbled a short note after which he ate poison. Greg called at the Grundys later and was led upstairs by the couple to see his nephew. Opening the door, they found Solomon dead on his bed. Mrs. Grundy slumped to the ground and was rushed out by two servants. Mr. Grundy simply stood petrified. Greg reached for the note and read out to Mr. Grundy’s hearing;

            ‘Dear Dad and Mum, thanks for ruining my life

            Greg, I should have listened.’

Grundy snatched the note and tore it into pieces. Greg grabbed Grundy by the collar and yelled amidst tears;

‘Should everything be about your status and wealth? You have never done anything to benefit any one, not even your son.’

Letting go of Grundy’s collar, he left the room.

Sunday – Burial

Solomon was buried the next day. As mourners dispersed from the Grundy’s residence, Grundy called his brother Greg aside.

‘Please say not that Solomon committed suicide,’ he pleaded.

            ‘Of course, there was no suicide’ Greg replied, a vein appearing on his forehead, ‘It was a murder.’

Grundy opened his mouth as if to say something. He looked like he just saw a ghost – Solomon’s ghost. Greg reached for his hat, and giving Grundy a final glance, took his leave.

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