While We Breed Like Rabbits

In civilized climes, plans are being made for sustainable living. Accurate projection of population 10 years from now or even more is been made and plans are put in place for generations yet unborn. Meanwhile in the banana republic that is ours we keep breeding like rabbits and blaming other countries for our predicaments.

The government of the United Kingdom is planning to deport about 29, 000 Nigerians whom she tag illegal immigrants and as usual our government and its people have reacted with a tantrum. A distinguished Senator while addressing the issue in the Senate alleged that the illegal immigrants have in one way or the other contributed to the economy of the U.K. and so the U.K. should not deport them. Say what?! Just what do they smoke at the National Assembly? Yea, the U.K government wants these Nigerian geniuses to go home and help build the Nigerian economy the way they have built the U.K. economy.

while we breed like rabbits

Instead of brainstorming on policies that will keep our youths at home and stop the brain drain plaguing us, our National Assembly is working out a way to beg big sister U.K. Where is the soul of this Nation? The worst form of deceit is self-deceit. We must checkmate our population growth and accelerate development in every sphere. Common country folks! It’s the 21st century fa! You cannot just leave the number of children, birth control, economic policies to the ‘god factor,’ forces of nature or whatever you call it. It’s just not done like that.

And this also applies to other African countries. Some weeks ago, the Republic of Zambia announced that she would be holding a day of prayer and fasting for her weak currency and to boost the economy. Why do we have clueless idiots at the helm of affairs? How did we degenerate to this state? It is very simply, ok? No economy was, is or can be built via fasting and prayer.

It is enough that the world mocks us; it is totally unbearable when we mock ourselves. The world is moving and living us behind, no one will move us; we have to move ourselves. If we continue this trend our children yet unborn will curse us. How is it that we don’t make long term plans? There is more to life than wearing imported clothes and riding fairly used vehicles (I careless that they are London used). Just where is our pride as a people? About a month ago, I was in a church and the Pastor while praying (in Yoruba) said ‘A dog cannot subdue a lion, a black man cannot outwit a white man, a white man cannot outwit god. I declare this month, your enemies shall not subdue you in Jesus’ name!’ and the deluded congregation chorused ‘Amen!’ Some of those educated fools will hit the internet air space upon hearing about the U.K. government’s deportation plan to curse and call all white people racist. How do you accuse the West of racism when our leaders and clergies have registered it in our sub-consciousness that we are inferior?

We have problems and we must so admit; we must stop living in self-denial. Our borders are porous and we want to fight insurgence? Our population is growing at supersonic rate while development is dragging behind like a snail but yet we want to attain the millennium development goal; we want to be prosperous as a nation; we want to live sustainably; we want a better Nigeria for our children. These are lofty aspirations and they are beyond the realms of wishful thinking. I suggest a comprehensive government policy and legislation to control our population. Now don’t tell me how your religious scripts admonishes you to give birth to children you cannot nurse, this is a matter of national interest, it will be lovely if you leave your faith out of it. We must also gear our energy towards job creation to ground our flying children, common sense so demands.


The life and times of Solomon Grundy

Monday – Birth

Grundy was in the field when the news hit him like a stray bullet. He ran all the way home and into the room. He headed straight for the cradle and lying in it was little Grundy, asleep. Turning, he faced his wife Sarah, tears streaming down his cheeks and mumbled;

            ‘Finally, God has given us a child.’

Tuesday – Christening

The Grundys christened their son on a Tuesday, two weeks after his birth.

            ‘We want to make it the best ever,’ was the excuse.

They were true to their words; it was indeed the greatest ever. For never in the history of the kingdom had there been any event like that of the Grundy’s. Even the king could not help but marvel. A notable Knight was reported to have said;

‘It is a day of a thousand laughter…everyone got enough to eat and drink’

Everyone went home happy except for Greg, Grundy’s brother, who objected to the lavish spending. The child was nonetheless christened Solomon – Solomon Grundy.


Growing up, Solomon was denied nothing. His parents did all the thinking and left nothing beyond his reach. Solomon had no problem but for his Uncle Greg. Greg was the only opposition to the worship of Solomon. He was also a great preacher and would sit Solomon down for hours trying to force morals into him and slothfulness out. Solomon hated Greg but could do nothing about it.

Wednesday – Marriage

  Solomon became of age and was to take a bride. He grew up a handsome man with a terrible character. There was no stopping Solomon once he was set to go except for Julia. Julia the poor mild girl was the only antidote to his sickening character. She loved him so much and was determined to change him for good. Solomon equally loved her but still depended on his parent to make his decisions. So it wasn’t surprising when his parents announced he would be marrying the Princess even before telling him, and even  less surprising when they bent his will through the influence of his friends and the throne.

In the course of the preparations for Solomon’s wedding, Greg stormed in one day and challenged the Grundys.

            ‘You’ve lived his entire life and now you picked him a wife!’ Greg yelled.

            ‘Not your business.’ Solomon barked.

‘If you have ears and not flagella you would have known the sentence is a statement not a question, loose brat!’

And with those words still hanging in the air, Greg stormed out. Once again, the opposition lost. The wedding came to beat the long standing record of Solomon’s christening.

Thursday – ill

 Solomon’s breath taking wedding lasted just two weeks. They couldn’t just get along. Solomon was a drunk and also bad tempered. The princess was hyper-sensitive and as proud as a peacock. When she left, Solomon’s heart became more hardened to wine. One Thursday, Solomon collapsed outside a bar and was rushed home, all muddy. The doctor said he had liver cirrhosis and should stop drinking. Continue reading “The life and times of Solomon Grundy”